Anime North 2017 Compilation

Click Here To See The Compilation, edited by yours truly.

“I’ve lost myself in make-believe
I don’t wanna go, I don’t want to go, make me
Over and over I’ve deceived
I don’t wanna go, I don’t want to go
You want the form? I can’t conform
Cause I can’t take anymore of your tainted bliss cause
I’ve lost myself in make-believe
You can’t break me”

~Set It Off: Freak Show

One of my favourite songs, used to edit together clips filmed by myself and my best friend Zoey Polhill last year at the Anime North convention. We met many fantastic, inspiring people that shared our love of all things nerdy as we wandered the convention dressed as Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. This particular video is one of my personal favourites that I’ve done in 4 years of film classes, and as such I’ve decided to share it.

I have endless love and admiration for the cosplay community, and look forward to taking part in it more and more as time goes on.

Thoughts on Ready Player One and the Video Game Industry – RE: Females

I adore this book, in fact I’d even go as far as to say it is one of my favourites. However, that does not abolish the fact that this book is dominated by white men.

Much like universities way back in the day, and much like big names in the computer science industry, past and present, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline worships the names of artists, game developers, computer scientists and musicians that are all Caucasian men.

Now, I wish we lived in a world where this meant nothing. I personally believe that people are people, and that we are all equals. We are blank slates born to form by our experiences, regardless of our gender.

Unfortunately, many of us are formed by sexism, racism, and slander. Take Aech for example. She is a gay African American woman posing as a straight white male within the OASIS.

I live as a female in a male-dominated society as well, especially in terms of game development, my future field. Every indie developer that comes to the front of my mind are males: Dan Salvato of Doki Doki Literature Club, Toby Fox of Undertale, and Thomas Brush of Pinstripe (all fantastic games that I recommend, by the way). Then I look at those such as Hideo Kojima, Shigeru Miyamoto…there’s a lack of a feminine touch when it comes to big icons in the game development world.

This is a problem that I one day hope to fix.

THAT BEING SAID!

I don’t for a minute believe that women are lacking in the field. In Ready Player One, Art3mis points out the majority of the female icons of the 80s, being the badass girl that she is. I find a lot of value in taking time to credit and value the possibly overshadowed women of the world that is still quite unbalanced.

People like Emily Greer, who cofounded and is CEO of Kongregate.

Jennifer Hale, an iconic voice actress in games such as Metal Gear Solid and BioShock Infinite.

Yoko Kanno, a Japanese composer and musician.

Amy Hennig, one of the geniuses behind Uncharted.

Kim Swift, who worked on Portal and Left 4 Dead.

Corrinne Yu, who started her career with the loveable King’s Quest series.

And a big round of applause to Carol Shaw, the first female to be a full-time video game designer!

The list goes on and on and on and will continue to grow.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware that there are more and more women joining industries such as the video game development one. However, I am a female computer science student. I sit in a lecture hall with a gender ratio that is nowhere near 50/50. I am often one of few female – quote unquote – “nerd” friends. I’m repeatedly told how difficult it may be for me to be hired because I am a girl. I admire so many people I admire and grow nervous to find how much masculinity is behind each of them. And then I read Ready Player One once again and find a total of 5 female characters named within the OASIS: Art3mis, a romanticized and sexualized character. Aech, who hides as a male for the majority of the book. Wade’s mother. Halliday’s love interest. Og’s wife. Note how those last three, despite standing out as females, only remain in my head because of the men they are associated to, and not for feats of their own? Why is it that, despite how much Wade pushes the concept that equality is abound in the OASIS, even past the 2040s, a sexist devise is still so prominent?

I wish I had a conclusion. Some reason for writing this post other than my pure need to vent. I do have some parting remarks, though.

  1. If you’re ever feeling as beaten down as I was about a lack of women in whatever field, do some research. Find the names and stare at the identities of your fellow females that have proven that whatever you are doing is more than achievable.
  2. Give those same females some recognition. Male names are pushed often, yes, but if anyone has earned praise, give it to them. Even if it’s just in a small post like this one.
  3. Read Ready Player One. Seriously. It’s so good. If you’re a sucker for 80s references or video games, or both, you’ll be as obsessed with it as I am.
  4. Get yourself ready, because someday my name is going to be as noteworthy as some of the men listed in this post.

 

 

 

Got any thoughts in response to this? Feel free to let me know, I’m always down to discuss anything civilly.

Just A Piece I Appreciate

Not a legit post, just a poem that I appreciate. Found here

Side note; you ever realize that you’re a coward?

 

 

I used to have this manager back when I was a bartender.

One night
She told me:
“I don’t know what it is,
But something about you reminds me of my ex-fiancé”

She kind of looked off,
A twinkle moistened her eye,
And wrinkles hoisted either side
Of her lips

And she said: “He’s such a dick”

Wow.

“Fuck you too”, I thought.

I blew it off.

I acted like it never happened.

But I added those words to the collection of:
“You Always”, “You never”, “Why can’t you”, “I wish you”, “You used to”, “I told you”, “Try harder”, and “How could you’s”,
That I always stow
Below deck,
Hidden away
Like Hannibal Lecter’s prey

Hidden with the collection of words
That hammer nails through wooden skin,
That built a coffin within
My gut

A coffin only I could see,
Only I knew existed.

It was a coffin encasing a collection
Of words,
That hurt.
That sting.
And when there’s no outlet,
Those words fester,
Forming fear,
Foaming up like crashing waves,
Creating an ocean of excuses,
To lash out.

Words,
Are weapons of personal destruction,
We know this as a human race,
We’re taught as children
That sticks and stones break bones
But the hard truth is
That a crooked comment
Can rip guts from stomachs,
Smash esteem
Like ants under a five-year-old’s sneaker,
And callouses
Don’t form as easy as one may think.

Years ago I had a gym teacher who scared everyone.

I hid in back corners near rubber tumbling mats
To ward off lightning bolt remarks.
One day he said,
To the smartest girl in the class –
You know the girl,
The one who always fucked up the grading curve –
One day he said to that girl:

“If only you had as much drive in the gym as you do in math,
I bet you could go far”

That smart girl said nothing.

She just added those words to her own coffin inside.

But her coffin was not thick oak like mine,
It wasn’t designed
To hold the hurt
Or channel it anywhere
Like into a poem.

Today,
That smart girl sits behind cold iron bars.
Those words piled up for years
Until she could no longer cherish herself,
Until her confidence was a cesspool,
Drowning aspirations in anguish.
And so one day when that boyfriend,
The one who ran around behind her back,
Lashed out,
She lashed back.
Her outlet
Was 9 millimeters,
She sunk the swollen words
Of all her verbal beaters
In the form of a bullet
In that cheater’s
Head.

Words,
Are weapons of personal destruction,
We know this as a human race,
We’re taught as children
That sticks and stones break bones
But the hard truth is
That a crooked comment
Can rip guts from stomachs,
Smash esteem
Like ants under a five-year-old’s sneaker,
And callouses don’t form as easy as one may think.

I’m not saying everyone’s made of glass,
But not everyone’s a soldier either,
So think about what you’re gonna say
Before you say it,
Cuz a bully doesn’t always hide in the shell of the biggest kid on the playground

 

Publishing?

I have a dilemma here. Say I have a manuscript or two written up, ready to go. What is an aspiring author to do?

Self publish, or find a publisher?

Self publishing, while more expensive, gives me the creative liscense. It also prevents one from having to wait for a publisher to pick them up. It’s much more work, but I wonder if it is worth it in the end.

Publishing, on the other hand, is a waiting game. Waiting for your genre to be popular, waiting for your story to be deemed as readable. Waiting to be good enough. Hoping. Praying. You have less control, but you also have better marketing and such.

So I wonder, you see, which to choose.

Any input?

First blog post

The first blog post! My goodness. I suppose if I were to introduce what this is about, this is going to be a collective place for my writings. I’d like to look into taking prompts along with putting my shorter pieces and brainstorms out there.

In the end, I’m just a storyteller trying to find a place for my pages.

Nice to meet you, I’m Erin Waldram

Writer, Gamer, Dreamer